Thank Goodness for Vicodin
We got 11 eggs at retrieval this morning. I’ll get the call sometime tomorrow letting me know how many were mature and how many fertilized. I’m hoping to get enough to be able to go to blast again, but...
View ArticleCouldn’t Ask for Much Better
I just got the call. All 11 of my eggs were mature, and 10 fertilized with ICSI. I am beyond relieved. We’re scheduled for a 5 day transfer on Monday at 9:30 unless something dramatic happens between...
View ArticleSometimes It Pays to be Pushy
Maybe I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I’m pushy, but I definitely make every attempt to get my way when something’s important. I’m sure I bug the crap out of the staff at my RE’s office. I’m the...
View ArticleI Can’t Sleep
I’ve been awake since 5am and have been tossing and turning to no avail since then. I finally decided that it was doing me no good to lie there with thoughts spinning through my head. I might as well...
View ArticleCould I Please Make It Through One Transfer Without Crying?
I wish I could write some awesome post about how many perfect embryos we had or how smoothly my transfer went, but if you know my luck, you probably knew that wasn’t going to happen. Things definitely...
View ArticleI’m Tired
I’ve been trying to figure out a back up plan in case/when this IVF fails. I’ve blogged about it before and have continued to think about it, but I still don’t have the foggiest notion about what comes...
View ArticleWhat’s My Deal?
Unfortunately I know the answer to that question. I’m just one big hormonal mess these days, but what’s a girl to do. I swear, I really need to get a grip on this crying thing. It’s getting old fast....
View ArticleAre You Sure It Hasn’t Been Two Weeks Already?
Time is dragging by as it’s known to do during the two week wait. It seems as though Friday will never get here, although I know it will. Hell, I’ll probably be wishing I was still in the dark come...
View ArticleTerrified
I’m terrified of another failed cycle. I’m terrified of another negative beta. I’m terrified of another “I’m so sorry” phone call. I’m terrified of having my heart broken yet again. I’m still dying to...
View ArticleI Hate HPT’s
Why do I do this to myself? I know that breaking out the HPT’s will only make things worse, yet I do it anyway. My bladder woke me up at 3am this morning, but I was determined to try to wait another...
View ArticleComplete Meltdown Mode
I’m losing it. These HPT’s are completely fucking with my head. Why do I continue to torture myself? I guess once you get on a runaway train it’s not so easy just to hop off. I took another FRED first...
View ArticleI Guess That Explains It
The mystery of the shadow lines has been solved. My beta came back at 46, a low positive. Of course this is further than we ever gotten before, but I’m worried. The average beta at 11dp5dt is about...
View ArticleHanging In There
I guess there’s really not much else to do at this point. Of course I’ve been googling every combination of words possible in reference to low beta situations. I’m not driving myself crazy, though. I...
View ArticleBut I Was Doing So Well
I was proud of myself for staying calm, cool, and collected under the circumstances this weekend, but I guess it couldn’t last forever. I am so damn nervous right now. I think there may be actual knots...
View ArticleWhy Can’t I Get a Fucking Break?
It’s over. Beta was 37. I’ve been told to discontinue meds and go back in a week for another beta to make sure it’s dropped to 0. Where do we go from here? I honestly don’t know. It breaks my heart to...
View ArticleMy Brain’s Too Fried to Think of a Title
Right now I’m reading When Bad Things Happen to Good People. I actually requested it from the library before I got the results of this cycle. I had a feeling it might come in handy. There was one part...
View ArticleDusting Off the Boxing Gloves
The fight’s definitely still there. I think one way I know I’m not done with this crap is that my urge to determine the next step is still there. Maybe even stronger than ever. I need to know what...
View ArticleThe Floodgates Have Opened
The wrath of the post IVF period is upon me, and holy crap, it sucks. Thankfully, I still have a few Vicodin in my stash to get me through the worst of it. It would be preferable, however, just to have...
View ArticleWell, That Was Predictable
I had my follow up appointment with my RE today. I don’t know why I was looking forward to it so much. I knew I wouldn’t get any answers. My RE thinks our failures are caused by a sperm issue. She went...
View ArticleDelayed Reaction
I’ve been doing pretty well the past few days. Maybe too well. I’ve been treating this last failure the same as I did the past two, but you know what? It’s not the same. I think I’ve been in denial...
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